2"Vanity of vanities," says the Preacher,
"Vanity of vanities! All is vanity."...
8All things are wearisome;
Man is not able to tell it.
The eye is not satisfied with seeing,
Nor is the ear filled with hearing.
9That which has been is that which will be,
And that which has been done is that which will be done.
So there is nothing new under the sun.
Vain: (from Webster's Dictionary) 1: having no real value 2: marked by futility or ineffectualness
In the past few days I have felt a tidal wave of conviction. You probably know what I'm talking about. It's the times, as my preacher would say, that you "have been taken to the Holy Ghost woodshed for a good whippin" (He's from down south in Alabama). Last night God confirmed these convictions and lovingly gave me a little wisdom and direction.
You see, I have felt like I have been in a spiritual pit or valley for a while. I have been continuing to go through the motions but it has felt completely empty and ineffective. I would read my bible, do my bible studies with a friend, pray with Michaela every night. The typical rituals that Christians have but felt nothing.
Finally, I began to pray to have a desire again. God will always answer when we ask with a sincere heart. He began to show me that I have no desire or joy because I am trying to find meaning from anything and everything apart from Him. Everything I try to accomplish is meaningless and ineffective without Him. He is the only reason I will find joy.
This also spills over into my work with Michaela. Verses 3&4 of Ecclesiastes 1 say: 3What advantage does man have in all his work Which he does under the sun? 4A generation goes and a generation comes, But the earth remains forever. Where am I teaching her to get her joy from? Soon I will be gone and I only get one shot to instill God's values into her. It is great if she knows her colors, how to count and transfer objects. However, all of my work is meaningless if I do not teach her about the greatest source of joy and satisfaction in her life.
We need more Bible time in Tot School.